Forever Never

By | September 13, 2015

One thing that hinders some people is forever thinking about doing something, but never actually doing it. It’s the paralysis of analysis – a churning that goes on in the mind. Thoughts like: How to proceed? What should be done first? What if it doesn’t work out? etc., etc… A myriad of details that you hash through your head, over and over. You may have the mental illusion of making progress. But in reality, it all adds up to doubt, hesitation and procrastination. And nothing is getting done.

This can happen with small things, and with big goals. Really important goals!

Why does this happen? And what can you do about it?

 

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

There could be many reasons why people get stuck and endlessly put things off. But let’s talk about a few of the most common ones.

Change. This is a biggie. I suspect that most people are not truly aware of how much we are a product of our thoughts and habits. There’s a saying that has evolved over centuries that goes something like this: Watch your thoughts, because thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become habit. And habit becomes destiny. There are many variations on this theme. But the central point stands true. The smallest things keep adding up to stronger and stronger reinforced patterns in how you live your life. The bottom line is that the characteristics of your behavior – your actions and reactions – are deeply rooted in a million little details that have accumulated over a lifetime.

When something new or different comes along, it represents a change (large or small). And this potential change stands against a giant – a lifetime of momentum of your habitual thoughts and behaviors which constitute your comfort zone. And change is not an easy battle to win. Because the comfort zone is, well, comfortable. And overcoming it takes a concerted effort.

How…? Another major reason that causes people to hesitate is being stuck on the “How?” They think they must know everything and have it all figured out before taking the first step. It’s a form of worry. And, interestingly, the vast majority of things that people worry about never actually come true (or they turn out much better than what people were worrying about). Statistics vary, but I’ve seen numbers ranging from 85% – 98%. Nevertheless, people keep on worrying. They are chasing “How?” questions.

There is a balance that is needed here, of course. Sometimes you actually need to learn something, or acquire a skill in order to fulfill what you want or desire. But when it comes to procrastination, many times people are going overboard wondering about a myriad of “How” questions that are just fodder for the mind.

Fear of failure. This is where a person doesn’t want to be seen as having produced a bad result, a failure or a flop. This gets to matters of self-esteem and self-efficacy. If someone’s sense of personal esteem and worthiness isn’t well developed, the risks of facing anything less than a glowing success or accomplishment can be paralyzing. Likewise, if they have low confidence about their ability to produce a result, this too can keep them from even trying.

Perfectionism. The perfectionist, on the other hand, is preoccupied with making everything just right – perfect. And this person is usually well-opinionated about what “right” means. This manifests itself as obsessing and spending inordinate amounts of time pursuing a flawless end-result. Anything short of that is unacceptable.

Lack of focus. This seems counterintuitive. You may suppose that if someone is stuck on forever thinking about something but never doing it, then at least they are focusing on it. But that’s not the case. If they were focusing only on the desired goal or end-result, then it is not likely that they would be stuck, doing nothing.

The fact is, this person’s mind is probably all over the map. They are probably focusing on some of the items listed above, and more. They may be easily distracted with other unrelated issues. They may find it hard to say no to other things. And therefore, even though they might talk often about their goal, the truth is, that goal is not getting the focus it needs to become a reality.

 

WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?

If you are someone who just seems to be stalled and you haven’t been able to break out of that procrastination rut of forever thinking about something, but never doing it, then here’s some good news. Begin by following these three steps to unleash progress in your life.

  1. Focus on the end-result. With all the time you’ve spent “thinking about it,” have you really been thinking about the end result? Or have you been thinking about a thousand other details? Spend time imagining the end-result! What will it be like? What sights, sounds and smells will you experience? What joy and satisfaction will you feel? Be vivid, and stay obsessed with the end-result.
  2. Accept that mistakes may happen. We’re all human. Everyone makes mistakes. There are no perfect people. And there are no perfect results. No matter how good anything is right now, there’s always another improvement that can be made. Accept this and go forward. Something “good” now, is better than something “perfect” later.
  3. Act now. This is big! Act now! Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not next year. Take that next step right now. Just look around. Observe anyone who seems to be effective getting things done. Notice how quickly they decide to act versus putting things off ‘til another day. Mimic that behavior. Don’t let days and weeks go by without you taking steps – taking action – on your goals.

By embracing these three concepts each day, focus on the end-result, plan for “good” results (as opposed to perfect), and take the initiative to act right now, today, then you will unshackle yourself from the chains of procrastination and begin to feel increasing joy and satisfaction from forward movement, day after day after day.

Turn your Forever Never into Forever Now and take that next step toward what you want. Don’t think about it. Just do it!

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